12 Practical Principles for Thriving in Adversity, Life, and Pandemics
If one thing is certain about life, it is that adversity is inevitable — the times we live in are no exception. However, the Stoics gave us a philosophical toolkit that not only allows us to survive adversity but to harness it. These tools helped me to dismantle harmful ways of thinking and to be serene in times of trouble, and they can help you too. Read all the way to the end for resources on getting started.
I began investigating Stoic philosophy in 2018 at the suggestion of a friend after a particularly challenging year, both personally and professionally. The intervening years have proven to be equally — if not more — challenging. When the lockdown began, opportunities I thought open closed abruptly, and a trip one-and-a-half years in planning was postponed. However, Stoicism provided me with a deep well of strength to draw on.
From the wisdom of the Roman Stoics and my experiences, I learned twelve valuable lessons that have enabled me to adapt and thrive. I still have room for improvement when it comes to following these principles, but it gets easier with patience and practice. Here is a practical philosophy to deal with the fact that sometimes, life sucks.
1: Reflect candidly and thoroughly on a regular basis
Self-awareness is one of the most important qualities to have. On a regular basis, think about your emotions, their effects on you, and where they originated, from an outsider’s perspective. Recognizing them as real and legitimate is key to overcoming them in a healthy manner. This demands a willingness to face hard truths about yourself — no-one can do this for you, because no-one truly knows what is happening in your head but you.
Journaling and speaking with close friends are two of the most effective ways to reflect because they force you to acknowledge that what you are facing is real. Journalling prompts I have found useful are pretending to be a mentor giving yourself advice (as was done by the Stoic emperor-philosopher Marcus Aurelius in Meditations), or a psychiatrist analyzing your internal thought processes.
The process of reflection allows you to learn from past experiences, positive and negative, and it may help you think about your current situation in a new light. This dovetails with the principles that follow — hence, why my journey with Stoicism began with journaling. Some choose to journal on a schedule, while I personally prefer to write whenever I have thoughts that need to be developed.
2: Reject wishful thinking
When you have been working towards a goal but fall short, it is natural to be frustrated that your efforts have not been rewarded. Or if you have been experiencing hardship and are served with yet more hardship, it is natural to demand the universe for justice. We all know the pain that comes with unsatisfied expectations — the long-anticipated vacation that was canceled, or the promised aid that fell short.
Your first impulse may be to take on a victim mentality and think, “I don’t deserve this, I wish it hadn’t happened.” Reject these thoughts; the universe is indifferent to what is fair and unfair. Accept that what has happened has happened, and adapt.
Realizing that the universe is indifferent to human ideas of fairness encourages us to have a more nuanced view of the world and to be more compassionate to others. People in bad situations do not necessarily deserve them, and people in good circumstances did not necessarily earn them by merit.
3: Focus on the facts
Instead of focusing on the way things should be, focus on what is true. If you feel your emotions overpowering your rational judgment, pause for a moment to acknowledge and let go of them. Then, learn the facts and determine what actions will lead to the best outcome in a systematic manner:
- What is the problem? Identify the root cause, and be as objective as you can in evaluating the problem’s seriousness and consequences.
- What are your resources? Be open-minded: People, finances, personal willpower, assets, skills, and time are just a few of the resource types you might need to account for.
- What are some possible solutions? Once again, be open-minded: The first solution that comes to mind is not always the best one, and there is almost always more than one path forward. If there is no clear solution, what can you do to make things more bearable?
It may be helpful to go through these steps with a pen and paper. Solving problems in a structured, fact-based manner helps you to dispel panic and to make good decisions in trying times.
4: Recognize what is and is not within your control
This is taken from the Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Regardless of your religious persuasion, this prayer illustrates a valuable mindset. Whether it is a difficult personal situation or an act of injustice that moves you, there are factors that are within and beyond your control. Understand and accept what is beyond your control, and act on what is in your control.
Do not wait for someone else to act. If there is a question that needs to be asked, something that needs to be done, or injustice that needs to be corrected, do not waste time grumbling, “Someone should really take care of this.”
If not you, who? If not now, when? You are that someone. Take the initiative.
Act.
5: Seek to solve the problem, not to assign blame
It is human and natural to want to blame someone, something, or some circumstance for every misfortune, but this is a toxic mindset. Not all situations are someone’s or something’s fault; save that for the courtroom. Instead, focus on getting the situation under control and solving the problem first.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield in his book An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth puts it in a memorable manner: Focus on what’s going to ‘kill you next’. In other words, focus on the most serious, most immediate issue at hand and solve it. This mindset is useful for rapidly sorting your priorities in a crisis. You can then create and execute a plan, which reduces anxiety and facilitates solving the problem.
6: Find the opportunities in every crisis
Never let a good crisis go to waste.
In every crisis lie opportunities to learn, to build strength, and to exercise virtue. A crisis in the workplace could be an opportunity to exercise level-headed leadership or perseverance. A personal crisis is an opportunity for growth and to become stronger.
As you gather the facts, look for circumstances that could be turned to your advantage. Look into yourself for weaknesses that the crisis may help you overcome. The best solution may demand that you leave your comfort zone — this is good because that is where growth occurs.
You may surprise yourself with what you are capable of.
7: Do not allow external circumstances or your emotions to control you
This is the capstone of Stoic philosophy; what you do and how you feel is ultimately your responsibility. A key Stoic principle is that nothing is intrinsically good or bad; your perception of them is what makes them so.
If you want to have tranquility, do not allow yourself to be perturbed by external circumstances. Feel and process your emotions, but do not allow them to overcome your rational judgment.
In November 2018, I realized that whether I had a good day or a bad day was entirely based on my reaction to the day’s events. I decided that I would stop having bad days — I would not allow anything to spoil my mood for the remainder of the day, week, month, or year.
If something unpleasant happens to me, I deal with the situation to the best of my abilities and move on. Refusing to be a victim of circumstance and practicing gratitude for the small good things that happen help a great deal. Since then, I have had countless days that were exhausting, disappointing, or that simply did not go to plan.
However, I have not allowed myself to have a single bad day.
8: All experiences are valuable and useful — if you learn from them
We all struggle with the mistakes and missteps we made in the past or wish that circumstances had been different. We imagine that had these mistakes not occurred or had our past been different, we would be in better situations today. I have struggled with this throughout my university years — I should have taken this internship or joined that club or gone to that event to put such-and-such on my résumé...
Overcome this destructive way of thinking.
Instead, accept the following truths:
- You cannot change the past.
- You cannot learn from your mistakes if you do not make mistakes, and…
- …we are human, therefore we will make mistakes.
- The circumstances that led up to this moment — good and bad — have made you into who you are today.
Instead of wishing you had not made that mistake or been through that hardship, learn from it and the experience will not have gone to waste. You will come out stronger and better, tempered and toughened by adversity.
9: Treat your fellow human beings with compassion and reason
Think before you act. It is tempting to give in to knee-jerk reactions and outbursts, but these are frequently harmful. Let calm, measured reason govern your interactions with others — even those you do not like.
If you are dealing with a dispute — for example, at the bank — refrain from lashing out. Whether the issue is their fault or not, rage is never constructive, and remember that all humans make mistakes. Not only will you get to a solution more efficiently, but it is also simply the morally right thing to do.
10: Accept that all things are transient
Learn and accept that everything — experiences, circumstances, possessions, relationships — are transient. Parties end, wealth is spent, friendships are made and lost, loved ones die, and one day, so will you.
Do not shy away from thinking about these things — meditate on them and become accustomed to them. While it is unpleasant to think about loss, especially of loved ones, becoming comfortable with the idea makes it less distressful. You learn to cherish the present moment and are better prepared for the future, come what may.
If you are experiencing something positive, you are ready for its end; if you are experiencing something negative, you draw solace from the fact that it will not last forever. With this mindset, life is filled with rich experiences, rather than dread.
11: Do not strive to be someone else, for you will soundly fail
It is natural to strive to emulate role models and those you admire — or envy. We imagine that if we do exactly as they do, we will become like them and hence become fulfilled — this is misguided. We reduce these people to bullet points on a résumé and instead of seeing their humanity, we see their achievements. Furthermore, it degrades our own humanity; we give up our own identity in favor of that of someone else.
When you find yourself being tempted to become someone else, remember that you are not them. The path they took to become what they are today is different from yours. What they find fulfilling may not be what you find fulfilling; what works for them may not work for you. Most of all, trying to be someone else drains you of energy and enthusiasm for life. It is asphyxiation for the spirit.
Accept that you cannot and should not try to become them. Instead, align your decisions with your personality, passions, skills, and circumstances to become the best version of yourself. Learn what it is that you truly want out of life. Then strive towards those things, not towards becoming another person.
You can give up your soul, but you cannot take another.
12: Realize that there is always way out
If you are in a bad situation, acknowledge it. Think about all the things that could go wrong and how your life might take a turn for the worse — and realize that you will pull through. It may be difficult, but it is not impossible. The key to weathering a bleak situation is believing that you will survive. The late Stephen Hawking said it best:
“However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. Where there’s life, there’s hope.”
— Stephen Hawking (1942–2018)
Stoicism is not about stiff upper lips, bottling up emotion, or being robotically cold and distant. If anything, it encourages us to be deeply in touch with our humanity and to seize the day.
Stoicism is empowering and entrepreneurial; in a world where we are mostly powerless, it teaches us that no-one can take mastery of the self away from you. It is about making the best of a bad situation and knowing that you will emerge on the other side.
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.”— ‘Invictus’, William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)
Recommended reading
Why Stoicism Matters (Alain de Botton): A brief video essay on what Stoicism is and how it can help us endure adversity (available on The School of Life’s YouTube Channel).
The Enchiridion (Epictetus): Stoicism for people in a hurry; a short compilation of Stoic advice and a solid introduction to the philosophy (available online from Project Gutenberg).
Stockdale on Stoicism II: Master of my Fate (James B. Stockdale): A retired US Navy pilot recounts how he put the teachings of Epictetus into practice to survive torture and isolation as a POW during the Vietnam War (available online from the US Naval Academy).
On the Shortness of Life (Seneca the Younger): Seneca disputes the notion that life is short, and argues that instead, time is misused on meaningless things (available online from Archive.org).
